I called you tonight, in shock. A FB notification made me dial you immediately. You were crabby and not giving me the attention I needed. We both confirmed, we always will have each other. Just two, just us. You may have not had the right words tonight, but ending with "I love you", will always be enough.
I try to count my blessings as much as possible. Work has replaced much of my social life and has been a great outlet to devout all energy and not think about the past. My (temporary) teeth haven't fell out in quite some time, my nose is looking a little better and I eat less and drink more. You laugh at my jokes. You run more than me (per usual). Your hair will definitely be longer than mine come 2015. You still remember me (which means you still love me and we are still the gahd damn Lucys).
I ditched my Winter Boyfriend because it's Spring in New York (Spring cleaning). The time when women become really confused on what to wear. I walked out for coffee in all black and a coat and ran back upstairs for open toes and coral lipstick. Being that confused on my outfit you can imagine the confusion with men. Seasons change. So here's to Spring. Volleyball season will start next week. I'm still bitter that you skipped our first game to hang out with Eric before your trip to LA. I wish we would have spent that night together. I remember calling you on my walk home from the first game that April. Of course, you still picked up and listen to me give you the 411 on all potentials. The lineup is just as promising as last year. New single men on the team, I'll send you my Google research shortly.
Your mom shared a little preview video with me tonight. I still don't believe it all. I know this sounds crazy but it's like we have two lives. I look at photos of before the accident and just think you are on vacation or something. I look at photos now; and it feels like we have this new life. I guess we do. I know it's still us but it's beyond just needing Botox and being another year older. What will time tell? Because it's still just confusing the shit outa me,. I still feel no different. I still get upset. I still tear up at the slightest trigger. I'm still not completely sure how you feel, what you want and how to help. Looking back at videos tonight, I realized- you truly are a miracle. Do you realize how many doctors, statistics and books you proved wrong. I still remember the negative breakdown of potential outcomes from a nurse in LA. You kicked your foot at the peak of her negativity- I knew then. You were bound to kick some major ass.
Clearly, I booked a ticket home for next week to celebrate you. I think it's time for a little champagne my friend. I can't wait to go through every single picture and reenact every single moment of last year. Put on your Depends, Super Plus Absorbency.
Miss you, Luc.
|Just my favorite Airport memory.|
|and motorcycle ride….|